The last section of the Creativity Workshop (I skipped over blogging about the two prior since they were short and involved charts) is about giving yourself a Creativity Permission Slip. That is, allowing yourself to be true to what kind of creator you want to be and why you want to pursue this work.
I’ve started to have more ideas about creating and somehow getting my story out there. While I have never been much into reading fiction and even less so into creating it, I have found myself brainstorming little storylines. Nothing solid yet, tossed around the idea of somehow loosely incorporating my life or how I had dreamed my life would be. I have had another book idea tucked inside my head for some time now and I have been trying to piece things together for it though not as actively as I would like.
I have always enjoyed non-fiction books as I love learning. But then I love the depth of a good poem and the way I can take flight in a really good (to me) novel. And from a young age I always knew I wanted to write in some capacity but I never quite found my niche. I always felt like a fraud, like I wasn’t good enough no matter how much praise I’d gotten, as though what I had to say about anything wouldn’t matter to anybody. I cut myself off before ever really giving myself a chance. Hell, even with blogging I have struggled to maintain consistency because I wasn’t always sure what I wanted to say would be received well by anybody. I never thought anyone would care. I’ve tried and stopped a million times in a million ways but something has always brought me back to the blank space.
So to create my own Creativity Permission Slip:
Who Am I?
I am a writer. I am honest. I am a caregiver, big hearted. I am a dreamer, a kid at heart. I love big. I am a part time runner. I am a hard worker. I am an independent, an individual, a creator, creative.
What kind of creator do I want to be?
I want to create connection. I want to use my words, my ideas, my fantasies to bridge the gap between others and a sense of belonging. I don’t want to create something grandiose. I want to create something that is meaningful, at least to myself. Something of a release. Sometimes I think I would like to create something so unlike me so I can break out of the comfort of my box.
Why do I want to pursue this work?
Connection. Both to others and to myself. I feel like somewhere deep inside there is a story to tell, whether my own or one I have dreamed up. I don’t think I was meant to wither away in the 9-5 rat race. I know there is more in this life for me but I have to be the one to *create* it.
What creative project will I give myself permission to do? How will I share it with the world?
I don’t know which idea will flourish first but I do know I want to write a book of some sort. I am going to focus more energy on brainstorming and time management and bringing into my life more of what brings me to life. And I will trust that the process will unfold as it should. Then someday I will be able to share it with the world in some capacity, whether a published book or an e-book. It doesn’t have to be great. It doesn’t even have to be good by other people’s standards. It just has to be authentic. It has to mean something to me.
And I really am going to try to blog here more. I always want to but I am just not sure what to say. I have been an avid blog reader for so many years and although I know they all had to start somewhere, just as I am, I feel like I am so out of my league. Story of my life!
But I’ve got a lot to say and I think it’s about time I start letting it out.