Learning to Leap.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” – George Bernard Shaw

There have been major developments in my life in the last two months. Exciting, scary, expansive, hopeful, challenging changes.

Finally.

For a very long time now I had been in search of something. What that was I couldn’t quite place my finger on, but I knew it had to start with change. Still, I couldn’t figure out what to change, how to go about seeking it out and then how to implement it into life as I knew it.

Then, the election happened. And don’t worry, I’m not going on a political rant here. I will simply say the outcome of the presidential election shifted something in me. I was angry. I felt fearful. I felt excluded. I felt betrayed. But mostly I knew I wasn’t doing enough.

I happened upon the Pantsuit Nation movement on Facebook, and I finally felt the ground moving underneath me. While our action based group name has changed (we are now Action Together NJ), our motives and drive have only amplified. And I’ve found myself included in something wildly progressive, inclusive, energized, and motivating.

By putting myself out there and making a few connections, which seemed like nothing special at the start, I’ve now become part of something so much larger than myself. I am heading up my county’s group. I have already put together one successful meeting, two newsletters, and my partner and I are about to embark on some local grassroots efforts to affect change in our community.

The spark I longed to feel has been lit.

I spent so many years advocating from the sidelines, behind a computer screen, in conversation, but I felt too timid and alone to join in the real, nitty gritty work. Until now.

This all happened by chance. I am completely inexperienced. I am truly learning as I go along. Yet I feel incredibly excited to be in a position to bring people together for a good cause. As an introvert I have always done my best to shift responsibility onto others. I was happy to follow along and be told what to do. Now I find myself actually wanting to step into a role of leadership. It may be on such a small scale but it isn’t a responsibility I take lightly.

I’ve said it’s a shame it took this election, at the age of nearly 33, to force me out of my comfort zone and into action. But maybe it had to happen this way. Maybe this was what I needed, to finally feel enraged enough to use my voice to work tirelessly for change. For once I feel enthusiastic about the future and about change, change I hope to take part in making.

My professional life is also about to take a sharp turn in a completely different and unknown direction. One of my nearest and dearest friends approached me with an offer to work side by side with her as her personal assistant. It took no real convincing on her part as I was in desperate need of change.

I had been feeling pretty flat professionally. I would grasp at straws hoping something would pull me up but every single idea fizzled out. It hurt to feel directionless. It was dizzying not knowing where my life was heading or even in which direction I wanted it to go. All I knew, with extreme conviction, was something had to change.

When she approached me, it felt like a breath of fresh air. It’s completely new territory for both of us, but we believe with our deep commitment to each other, professionally and personally, we can make this a prosperous opportunity for one another.

To be able to work for and with someone who values me, who understands me, who respects me and who genuinely wants to see me succeed is going to be life altering in itself. I haven’t ever had someone advocating for my growth, and I know this is going to change me in more ways than I can even imagine.

On top of those grand perks, the flexibility to be able to care for the girls more, the lack of stress, the fun and laughter that is sure to ensue, how could I turn down an opportunity like this?

I can’t.

It was really that easy to decide. So with the support of my family and my friends I am taking this leap. I am letting go of any fears popping up questioning just how this will play out (trust me, they are frequent). I am letting go of the fear of the unknown, of the constant need for control, and the panic over learning something new.

The opportunity to expand my area of experience and learn so much more about the behind the scenes of running a business (which I have always dreamt of doing myself) will no doubt be invaluable.

I have always believed everything happens for a reason. For this friend to come back into my life when she did, for us to reconnect deeply, and to be offered something as life changing as this, it strengthens my belief.

So, 2017, I’m coming for you!

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