What Am I Doing Here?

Sit with it, they said. Let it move through you.

Feel it.

I haven’t had a drink in days. Self soothing with words instead.
There is no beauty in this madness.

Suffocating by candlelight.

Wondering, wondering.
Who am i?

Anxiety pulsates through my veins daily. Soulful torment crying out. Tears. Screaming. Uncontrollable near convulsions.
Waiting. Waiting for it to pass. To pass through me.

There is no connection to God here.

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